The following articles are taken from the October edition of the WISH newsletter. (WISH = Wellbeing in Sexual Health) This newsletter is mainly for health professionals but now and again, there are some articles which are relevant for parents.
No rush, no regrets - Supporting young people in delaying early sex
By Jo Adams, writer and trainer of the Delay programme
Once upon a time there was a school nurse - let's call her Alison - who came on a Delay training programme I was running. She told us that a 13-year-old girl had come to see her for emergency contraception. When asked what had happened, the girl said she'd had sex the night before for the first time, on a bench on the promenade of her seaside town. Alison asked her (great work this, from a sexual health professional) - "And what was it like for you?" to which the girl replied "Cold. It was cold". So Alison went on to say "And how would you have liked it to have been?" The girl reflected for moment and then said "I'd have liked him to have bought me a cup of tea afterwards..."
Heart-rending, isn't it? We are so often dealing with young people whose expectations are so low that they believe all they deserve is a cold quickie on a bench without even a cup of tea afterwards to demonstrate some consideration or tenderness.
Due to hearing so many versions of this story over my years in youth and sexual health work, this led me to develop the Delay programme - so no-one will feel they have to have sex until it can bring a great deal more mutual happiness, and be a satisfying and shared experience rather than the bleak, alienated first experience which Alison recounted.
Before continuing, let me dispel any understandable misconceptions about this work. Delay categorically isn't about virginity, abstinence or saving sex for marriage. Nor is it just aimed at girls - we work sensitively and effectively with boys on these issues too. It is also not exclusively heterosexual but is deeply relevant to the needs of gay and lesbian young people as well.
Our work aims to support young people in making choices about sex that feel right for them, as well as providing excellent confidential sexual health services enabling them to access condoms, contraception, termination, and support for choices about sexuality. It balances messages that, when young people do choose to have sex, it is a good idea to wait until it is a positive decision made with clear, accurate information and the skills to negotiate safer sex. Discussions on the importance of intimacy and pleasure are also central to this work, as is building young people's self-esteem so they will feel attractive and wanted in their own right, without looking to sex to provide this.
Delay training is designed to be extremely practical, equipping professionals to feel confident about offering tangible support to young people in making positive healthy choices for themselves. A range of support resources and materials accompany the training, including the "RU Ready?" checklist to help young people determine for themselves whether they are really ready for sex.
For further information on becoming a Delay trainer, or for copies of the RU Ready checklist, contact Jo Adams:
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The Speakeasy course for parents
Speakeasy is a preventative community education programme which helps parents and carers tackle the complex and often difficult issues of sex and relationships education. The project works with groups of parents to provide information, resources and support to help them talk to their children about sex and relationships.
Speakeasy tends to concentrate its resources in areas of socio-economic need and where there are high rates of teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Parents attend a free eight-week course learning about puberty, STIs, contraception, keeping safe, and talking about sex and relationships in the context of family life.
The courses are held within local community education settings and schools.
For further information or to find out about running a free course contact Kristine Boyle:
Tel: 0141 948 1173
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The Bebooks resource
In 2006, NHS Greater Glasgow (and Clyde), Lanarkshire and Ayrshire and Arran developed the "Be" resources to communicate key issues around sexual health and relationships to young people aged 13 to 15. The resources were developed following research which illustrated that this age group were quite sophisticated when it came to media engagement and that all messages needed to:
- be provided in a language young people understand and use
- reflect their real life situations
- be visually engaging
- present subjects with appropriate use of humour
- appear underground, cool or edgy as if the message was not from an authority figure.
Resources were then developed with the aim of encouraging young people to delay early sexual activity, and to highlight some of the factors which influence early sexual behaviour, such as peer pressure, gender roles and lack of self-esteem.
The resources included children's storybooks - supported by guidance notes for professionals, and a website which provides young people with more information on sexual health.
These resources were presented true-to-life situations in quite a hard-hitting and edgier style than anything seen before. The important messages included delaying sexual activity, safer sex, bullying and peer pressure.
If you would like to subscribe to the free WISH e-newsletter then email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
For more information go to: www.bebooksonline.co.uk
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